Mom in April

It's been a while since I posted anything and I feel kind of bad. Hopefully this post makes up for it a bit!

If you're counting, we're getting close to the three-month mark since the docs said my mom had two weeks to two months. It's been an interesting month and we still don't know what exactly is going on with mom. Our family has discussed the option of getting scans done - sometimes mom agrees, then she refuses. We would have to actually remove her from hospice care in order to have any diagnostics done, then place her back in hospice afterward. It's a lot of hassle with insurance. I don't know if Mom would agree when it came right down to it. But she might. It would be nice to know what's going on, exactly.

At the beginning of the month, my sister Nicole and her family came out to visit for their Spring break. The grandkids loved seeing her; Simone and Madi managed to take Mom for a couple of walks outside in her wheelchair. Nicole said that Mom was still pretty random in conversations and she slept a lot. Still, Mom was very glad that Nicole was here... and Wendy and I spent some much-needed time with our families. Wendy took her kids to California to see their aunts and I took my kids down with me and KP to Zion's National Park.

The next week was my kid's Spring break and we spent much of the time here with Mom. She also came over to our house so we could get some of our Spring cleaning and gardening done.

The next Sunday was Easter and everyone came over for dinner and the Easter Egg hunt.
It was so much fun with my college-age nieces and nephew here! Mom came outside to enjoy the weather and watch the egg hunt.  Dad was busy giving all the grandkids "special" eggs that the older kids especially loved! ($$)  He doesn't make them look for them though, which doesn't seem fair!

That next week after Easter was kind of strange.  First off, I noticed that Mom was much more coherent - inexplicably coherent for how random she had been just the week before. She was having normal conversations with me and the kids.  She was firmly in the moment and continues to be that way with just a few random thoughts thrown in.

Then, on Wednesday of that week, Mom went out to lunch with Aunt Rallet and Uncle Marion. When they returned to the house, they told me that Mom didn't remember anyone coming to visit or call her in the last few months! She didn't remember Nicole coming the week before. She was actually in tears saying that she had been feeling terrible that no one cared about her enough to come see or call her. Poor thing!! I showed her the little book by the front door that everyone writes in when they come to see her and she was so surprised!! She didn't remember ANYONE that came. In fact, she still says to me, "Are you here to visit me today? That's so nice! I saw Wendy today too!"  (We both come over almost every day.)

Anyway, I think that's getting a little better because she remembers the Albanian Ambassador coming to meet her and she remembers hearing little Lily Olliverson coming over to play her violin so beautifully. Just don't feel bad if she doesnt' remember a phone call or a visit...but be sure to write in the little book by the door if you come.

Speaking of Lilly, my mom seems to respond really well to live music; it cheers her up, I guess. She actually likes it when Alexander and Andrew come to do their violin or cello practice at her house.  If you want to come over and play something for her, please do. There's no piano at my parents' but if you have anything else, she'd really enjoy it. Also, she loves to sing so if you want to come sing for her, she would probably enjoy that as well.



Now for this week: we've hit a bit of a rough patch.  She was in the car with me last week when I picked up Jack from preschool and she said she felt like she was going into a tunnel-dark place. Scary!! I got her home pretty quick and the hospice nurse came over. She said her blood pressure was quite low but she didn't know why. Since then, she's been pretty lethargic and sleepy.  Dad's been giving her Gatorade this weekend in case her electrolytes are low.  Also the pain in her arm has been quite bad today. Dad must have given her some morphine this morning because she's been sleeping for quite a while.

Mom's a trooper and she's not about to give up. She made a comment when she came home from lunch with Aunt Rallet (after Aunt Rallet had again explained about Mom's cellulitis and about being in the hospital, etc.) She said, "Wow, for how bad I was in the hospital, it's a wonder I've made it this long! There must be something I still have to do. I wonder what it is?" I don't know if she'll be able to hold onto that thought for long but that's where she is right now.  Kind of a good question for everyone I guess.

Anyway, I hope you have a good Sunday.  My daughter Kate comes home from her first year of college this week and she didn't think her Grandma would still be here.  It's a gift.

Still Fighting

It's hard to write a blog post where you admit that you've been arguing with your terminally ill mother but there it is. It seems as if she's reached a breaking point with her meds and is trying to refuse them all. We've coaxed, cajoled, tricked, etc. to get her to at least take her pain meds. Tonight she said it was absolutely the last time she was going to take them.

I hope not. Tareq should be home tomorrow and he has a way of sweet-talking her.

Nicole and her family arrived Friday afternoon. Poor Mom feels like she's supposed to be cleaning, straightening up, etc. while they're here...even when we all protest and tell her we can do it. She's trying to arrange meals (which is sort of funny since dad normally does all the cooking) but she loses her train of thought and gets frustrated.

Mom's been having more pain in her arm today...more than the regular pain meds will control. I think she may have to take some morphine. The hospice nurse thinks we'll gradually have to start ramping up the morphine as her pain increases; to the point where, sometime in the future, she may have to have a morphine pump. When that happens, she won't be conscious much.

On the bright side, my sweet sister-in-law, Angela, (Kevin's brother's wife) sent my mom a beautiful pink quilt.  Mom loved it and I couldn't hold back the tears. It was very sweet and we'll treasure it always.

Thanks for your love, support and prayers. Several people brought meals in for my family recently and it lightened my burden. I regularly feel a strength beyond my own and I know it's because of your thoughts and prayers. God bless.