Today I spent a frustrating morning listening to my mom tell the hospice nurse that she didn't have cancer. She's feeling better, eating better and all her sores have healed up. She says maybe she caught some sort of infectious bug on her travels with Dad.
She doesn't ever remember getting a cancer diagnosis. She thinks that maybe the clinic in Phoenix cured her even though they said they couldn't get it all. She said to the nurse, "I saw people walk out of that clinic and they were cancer-free. Maybe I am too?"
It is, honestly, heart-breaking to hear her talk like this. She's hoping for a miracle...everyone does, right?
Isn't denial the first stage of grief? Three and a half months into this saga (which actually started 27 years ago) and we're still right at the beginning. Either she's a fighter or she's stuck.
I dont know how this whole thing will end but I hope she gets her miracle....not sure how she'd handle anything else.
Danielle
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
New post. I know, shocking, right?
The past two weeks have been baffling but good. Mom's about 95% mentally with it - just having some short term memory problems. Also, she's pretty hazy about her time in the hospital and a couple of weeks after that.
Her balance has greatly improved and she isn't taking naps like she used to. She's eager to get out of the house so we've arranged for her to spend time every week with Aunt Rallet and Aunt Annie. Also my daughter Kate is helping out for a few weeks (while her grandpa is hosting the Ambassador to the Dominican Republic) and can take her wherever she wants to go. Mom even went to church on Sunday! She doesn't need/want someone to be with her all the time and is actually enjoying housekeeping, etc.
Her appetite has improved significantly and she's keeping most food down. I don't know if it's because of the anti-nausea meds or what. Who knows??
My mom LOVES to argue politics and is once again living up to her reputation as the most far-right leaning registered democrat I've ever known. So it's back to normal, almost.
Except that my dad tried, once again, to lower her pain meds because she's doing remarkably well, and she woke up in the night with terrible pain in her arm and had to have morphine. So we're back up to the normal medicine level.
It's weird that her mental state changes so much while she takes the exact same meds. She often tells people that she can't remember things because of the medicine she's taking but that can't be it. Her lucidity seems to come and go over the course of a few weeks but the pain med levels stay the same.
We're all wondering about her arm. The hospice nurse said that once cancer is in her bones, it would progress pretty fast. So is it not in her bones? What is making her arm hurt so badly? Just lymph nodes? Also, her hand and arm have started to swell up again - which is worrisome.
Speaking of the hospice nurse, we have a different one now. The former nurse, Melissa, has decided to do home health only so our new hospice nurse is Natalie (who was the very first nurse that ever came over but Mom got really mad and threw her out. We're hoping she doesn't remember her from three months ago 'cause she's really VERY nice!)
Anyway, if you want to call, visit, or write to my mom, she'd love to hear from you....and she'd probably even remember it!
Her balance has greatly improved and she isn't taking naps like she used to. She's eager to get out of the house so we've arranged for her to spend time every week with Aunt Rallet and Aunt Annie. Also my daughter Kate is helping out for a few weeks (while her grandpa is hosting the Ambassador to the Dominican Republic) and can take her wherever she wants to go. Mom even went to church on Sunday! She doesn't need/want someone to be with her all the time and is actually enjoying housekeeping, etc.
Her appetite has improved significantly and she's keeping most food down. I don't know if it's because of the anti-nausea meds or what. Who knows??
My mom LOVES to argue politics and is once again living up to her reputation as the most far-right leaning registered democrat I've ever known. So it's back to normal, almost.
Except that my dad tried, once again, to lower her pain meds because she's doing remarkably well, and she woke up in the night with terrible pain in her arm and had to have morphine. So we're back up to the normal medicine level.
It's weird that her mental state changes so much while she takes the exact same meds. She often tells people that she can't remember things because of the medicine she's taking but that can't be it. Her lucidity seems to come and go over the course of a few weeks but the pain med levels stay the same.
We're all wondering about her arm. The hospice nurse said that once cancer is in her bones, it would progress pretty fast. So is it not in her bones? What is making her arm hurt so badly? Just lymph nodes? Also, her hand and arm have started to swell up again - which is worrisome.
Speaking of the hospice nurse, we have a different one now. The former nurse, Melissa, has decided to do home health only so our new hospice nurse is Natalie (who was the very first nurse that ever came over but Mom got really mad and threw her out. We're hoping she doesn't remember her from three months ago 'cause she's really VERY nice!)
Anyway, if you want to call, visit, or write to my mom, she'd love to hear from you....and she'd probably even remember it!
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